this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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