Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Randomize
