I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
