you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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