You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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