The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
