but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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