New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
