there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
