Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
