she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
