if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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