dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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