nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
this will be a night to untag.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
