ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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