1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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