Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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