I hate all girls vehemently.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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