Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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