see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
