I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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