So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
