i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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