thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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