Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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