You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
