You can't special order awesome
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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