I have demons in me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
