i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize