i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
