I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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