Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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