i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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