dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
