i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
