so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
