What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
