you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
