I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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