How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
