She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
