Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
