We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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