tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
