After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize