I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
