Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize