at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
