Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
