i think my mom watched the whole time
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.