Banned from zoo.
Again?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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