He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize