So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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