If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
