i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
