My room smells like vodka and shame
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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