I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
