im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
