I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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