My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
