Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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