It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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