3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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