from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I enjoy the company of your penis
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
